show hope

It's probably time for an update on our adoption. When last i wrote i mentioned we wouldn't be starting paperwork until January, which is still the case. The reason for that is China has strict regulations on any mental health medications. I had postpartum depression with both of my pregnancies. With the girls, I was too ignorant and prideful to know what was happening, and out of that, would not take medication (which ultimately made it more difficult). With Samuel, I took a nosedive at the peek of sleep deprivation and hormonal craziness, and when he was 3 months old Russell took a week off work, Sam had to go stay a few nights away with family, and we got me to a doctor.

I need to do a separate post sometime on just this time period in our lives, as it was extremely difficult yet such a time of sanctification and growth in our marriage. But for now, I'll just say that China requires 2 years off any medication before adoption. In January, we will be close enough to that mark that we can begin paperwork, so that by the time we send our dossier (the combined forms, home study,  documents, etc.) over to China, we will meet that requirement.

In the waiting, I know God is sovereign and I know He is good. He always has things He is doing. We may not see many of them, and some hopefully we will know down the road, but for now I'm doing a lot of reading and researching...

Also tomorrow and Saturday we are going to this conference here in Houston...

It is a conference through Show Hope and Focus on the Family, for adoptive and foster parents, and those who hope to adopt and foster, and friends of those who adopt and foster parent. 

God has shown me He is in the midst of this as He is all things. The lead speaker at the conference was one of my favorite professors I took a families class from at TCU. My mom actually saved an article like five years ago that came in her TCU magazine that had been written about Dr. Purvis and the help she gave an adoptive family with their son. My mom saved it thinking that maybe someday we would adopt. At the time she had no idea that would become a reality.

We think about our baby. We pray for our baby. The kids talk about their brother. Sam wants to go get him from China most days. Thankfully, the concept of time is hard for him to grasp. It's still going to be awhile buddy.

I'm thankful for this conference. It makes me feel closer to him. Even though it seems so far away.

"For a thousand years in your sight are but as yesterday when it is past, or as a watch in the night."
Psalm 90:4
So if a thousand years are like a day to Him, then one or two years must just be like a breath. Only a breath away baby.

Yet at the same time, I desire contentment, peace, rest in the now.
"I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living! Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!"
Psalm 27:13-14

And I turn His Word into a prayer...
"Hear instruction and be wise, and do not neglect it. Blessed is the one who listens to me, watching daily at my gates, waiting beside my doors." 
...that I might desire wisdom and listen to the Word. That I will sit before the Lord and be drawn to His Word. That I will learn the disciplines of seeking and finding wisdom through Jesus, the Word of God.

"For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of him who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to corruption and obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God. For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now. And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the first fruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience."
Romans 8:20-25
Adoption is so beautiful. We eagerly wait for Jesus to return and our adoption as sons.