remember this

Remember this Paige. Remember the feeling of a tiny little hand patting your back as you lay by him at bedtime. Remember how your heart celebrated as you thought is awe about this tiny hand having been an ocean away only 6 weeks ago. I laid beside him in China when he was scared, at home because it was all new, two weeks home when he whispered "lay down, lay down", and 6 weeks in still because I missed so much. Remember he has let you hold and snuggle and be as close to your little baby as he can for his age and for all that has passed. Remember when you are turned acting like you are asleep so that he settles down quicker - a little kiss pecks the back of your head and you whisper "wo ai ni". And he whispers back "wo ai ni" (I love you).

Remember in the moments of frustration and the times when they are all fighting, the times when he is so excited to see them. When he hugs and kisses and points them out in a crowd saying their names "Emma. Abby. Mamuel." He says Mamuel because the "s" is hard and because it makes us laugh. Remember how they will hold hands and giggle. Remember how he let them each sleep in his bed so early on and how Sam gets so elated when his little brother plays sweet. Remember a couple days after we got home Sam so badly wanted to lay by Noah he said, "I know it mom. I know it in my heart it's time."  Remember when there is struggle to love from siblings and anger erupting to the surface because there are lots of emotions they don't know how to handle... remember God went before. He perfectly orchestrated this boy to be grafted into this family. Remember when Emma picks him up to carry him and Abby plays on the floor by him and Sam and he chase each other through the house.

Remember how absolutely wonderful a fit he is. He scooters and runs and jumps on the trampoline and wants to do so much independently. He goes and goes and goes like the other three until he crashes worn out from all the play. Remember when he would run down the hall in the Chinese hotel and flop to the floor making everyone laugh. Then spontaneously stick his hand on his hip and make that hilarious face then burst into giggles making us all laugh. Laughter and love cross race, gender, oceans... He fits right in.

Remember when you and Russ questioned and talked and dreamt of him? Remember the dream is a reality with a precious smile and a spunky little personality. Remember always how good God is.