Thursday was hard. The kind of hard that wells up from deep down and overtakes everything. The kind that you have to face even though part of you wants to run as fast as you can in the other direction.
We woke the kids early and made our way to the train station in Nanning to take a bullet train to Liuzhou City - Noah's birth city. The train was pretty neat and everyone did well on the 1 1/2 hour ride. Breathtaking countryside out the window. When we arrived we headed on a van to the orphanage Noah spent 7 months in as a baby. We were not allowed inside, although we could see children through some of the upstairs windows. Pretty quickly some of the staff came out, bringing us water bottles and talking to LongHan. His foster mom came out shortly afterwards and she held him a bit. A sweet woman, 62 years old, with smiling eyes and a joyful spirit. She held him a bit and then he went to play with the other three kids on the playset out front of the orphanage for a few minutes. A few lines of children went past walking back into the orphanage. The director said typically this orphanage had around 200 children inside. 200. Noah came back pretty quick to be put in my carrier. I'm so thankful from day one he has been ready and willing to be carried. We took a group photo and went back to the van.
The idea from our guide and the foster mom was to make that visit short, go to lunch, and then go back to the foster moms home later for one more short visit. If we made it too long it would be too hard and confusing for him. The hope was he could see us hug and thank her and she could explain a little to him. She was so sweet she wanted to go clean her home. I had Matthew (our guide) tell her my home is never clean so no need to worry about that.
Later after lunch and playing at a park we made our way to her home. When we arrived she carried him down the street, up through an alleyway that I recognized from his referral pictures, and into her apartment. It was clearly confusing for Noah. We went on in though and the mom and her teenage son offered us water, fruit, nuts, etc. then she got to it slicing open a mango and giving us a whole bag of nuts she said Noah loves. She showed us photos of 5 or 6 other foster children she had taken care of and the parents who had adopted them. I took pictures where Noah had slept. Already she had a new baby asleep on the bed he had slept in. I got back a heritage book I had sent in his care package a few months ago. It had maybe 80 questions in it. Like a baby book but more detailed. This sweet woman has filled almost the whole thing out. I'll just need to have it translated. She talked about Noah and how active he is, and how excited he is to go on a plane. Clearly she had been talking to him about us.
We were able to tell her thank you for loving him so well. After all her years fostering we were the first family to visit her home. We gave gifts, took a photo, and it was time to go. So far there had not been many tears from Noah, but here he gave in. Our guide told us to go on so that he was the one who took him away. Outside I got him and we both cried all the way to the van and for the next while until he had spent all the energy he had. The other three kids were impacted as well, Emma had a good cry too. We will spend a good deal of time I imagine talking and praying through it.
Taking him from all he's known, to be grafted in to a new life and new family. There is so much good here, but so much heartache.
He bounced back after an hour or so, playing and laughing. We got in late that night and crashed to sleep, after I had a good long cry. Most nights I need a good long cry. But y'all know me, I get it then I'm good to go. I just gotta have a cry pretty regularly to process.
We flew to our last Chinese city yesterday, Guangzhou. They upgraded our room for free to an apartment. With a washing machine and dryer! As I'd been doing laundry in a bathtub this is awesome. Things were getting real stinky around here. We reunited with our friends that were with us in Beijing, which is so refreshing to my spirit, and the kids have their friends again. Visited a garden today and are headed to the pool after naps.
God is good. All the time.
1 comment:
Paige, thank you for taking the time to write and share this. I know it must have been hard for him and for all of you. Thank God that his foster mother loved him - that she told him about you. That has probably made it and will continue to make it a little easier for him. I will continue to pray for all of you. I know it may be some time before I can meet him and see all of you again, but in the meantime, I am thinking and praying! Love you all!
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