yesterday you, yesterday i (baby boy)

Yesterday you were in my heart and on my mind. Well everyday really, but yesterday in particular. Yesterday I finally put our application to adopt you in the mail. I say finally because it feels like so long that I have yearned to take that step. Yet I know the truth and the Holy Spirit whispers to my aching heart that His timing is perfect. That time and time again the Lord has done perfectly in His orchestration of our lives. And He will again.
Yesterday you may have been born. Or yesterday you may have been being knit together in your mama's womb. Just as He is knitting you together in my heart as my baby boy. Yesterday you may have been cold, hungry, or scared. Or maybe someone wrapped you up in warm clothes and rocked you for seconds, minutes, an hour... O Lord let it be hours instead of seconds.
Yesterday I daydreamed of you. I dreamed of your smile. I dreamed of our family embracing you. My mind tried to go to sorrow of not knowing where or how you are, but I took it captive. I took the runaway thought captive, and turned it to a soft and quick plea for your safety. And I know. I know that I know that I know that the Lord holds you safe. I know that even if you feel alone you are not. I know that He is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow. Steadfast in His faithfulness. A solid rock to trust in. And He is bringing us together. It's just going to take some time little one.
Yesterday I remembered what it was like 6 months ago when you became a reality to me. I've described it to friends in this way... I thought of you, and another it felt like another door opened in my heart that I didn't even know existed. Just as happened with Emma, Abby, and Samuel. My love for you is fierce. The Lord's love for you is fiercer still.
Yesterday I realized I've got to write more. I've got to put it down so you can read His story woven through your life from my perspective. Yesterday you were without us. But you were not without Him. I will cling to that in the coming days. I love you baby boy.