I'm still here.

I'm still here. With the paperwork that is beginning combined with all the other daily things that come my way, I've had a hard time getting on here to write. I look at this blog daily when I use the computer for this or that, and want every day to stop and do a post. It just doesn't always get to take priority.

So almost a month later I'm going to post about our New Year's at the ranch. We spent 7 days in South Texas. This was right before we sent in our application to our placement agency, and right after Christmas. It truly took me two days to settle in enough to relax and enjoy the slow pace and lazy days. There was a giant pile of things in my head that needed to be done back at home, but none of those things could be taken to the ranch, so there was no good in thinking about how they needed to be done. I found myself antsy, telling Russ it was really hard for me to not do anything. Hard to just sit and watch the kids play, or sit and visit with adults by the fire. After that two days though I remembered how to relax. We spent hours just talking and the kids ran and ran and ran until we made them fall into bed at night. They played with goats, rode horses, hunted for arrowheads, went on cart rides, shot rockets, built bonfires, and got up in the deer stand with us. Russell and I got to go out and hunt every night.

As the last night or two came, I felt the pile growing in my head again. Often I think about that quote from What About Bob. Anyone seen that one? "Baby steps to the door. Baby steps to the door. Baby steps down the hall." Not an amazing quote I realize, but if you've seen the movie it's funny. Basically I have to just do one thing at a time. And remember to be present with my family in the midst of the demands of motherhood. Remember not to miss it, or let it pass me by because I'm too busy getting everything done.

The ranch was a great time of renewal and rest. Also anticipation, as I called our agency on the way home and got the okay to start the process.