wow

i realized on thursday afternoon that i had missed my ob appointment on wednesday. again. i called quickly to apologize and see if i could reschedule. i had samuel on october 2nd and was supposed to go in for my follow up appointment 6 weeks after that. for various reasons, i had called to change my appointment. i thought, just a couple of times. however, when i called to apologize, the lady said it had been... no, not one.... not four.... but, oh yes, TEN times. TEN times i had either missed or changed my appointment. and guess how many times i just had not showed up. is FOUR what you guessed? probably not. yes, FOUR times i did not show. i was shocked when she told me this. literally could not believe i have been so crazy as to have done that. i apologized profusely, even discussing with her how my dad is a dentist and i really do recognize it is not okay to just not show up for appointments. then i got off the phone to my mom who told me my dad mails out letters to patients who miss appointments.

wow.

there is nothing else to be said other than

wow.

my life as an organized person has been put on hold for awhile. three teeny little people running around have caused me to lose my organization abilities. daily i look at the chaos around me and think first about how it makes me feel a little bit chaotic just looking at it, and second, how there will be a day when i no longer have toys to pick up and three sets of little people clothes to wash. and one day i will miss it.

but still, it makes me feel a little crazy.

dumping and piling.. dumping and piling and dancing on the piles... that is the phase we are in.